Picking Up Where We Left Off

Recently I got to visit a dear friend of mine.  She used to live very close to me and when she wasn’t travelling we did a lot of fun things together.  She’s a fabulous connector and one of her greatest strengths is when she meets you, she remembers you and important details about you.  And she really does this in a very sincere way.  I’ve learned a lot from just being around her and how she interacts with others.

Sadly several years ago she moved back east and we don’t get to see each other as much as we used to.  We talk about once a week or so but it’s not the same.  So when we get the chance to get together, it’s really a treat for me.  This is the third time this year we’ve been able to be in the same room, which I think is the most since she’s lived here.  My flight got in pretty early on a Saturday and since her boyfriend was playing golf that day, we had several hours of uninterrupted time together.  And it was just like I’d seen her yesterday.  Only we didn’t pause to take a breath for about 3 hours!  Once we got caught up on the personal stuff we had lots of current events and political topics to microscopically examine.  We have pretty similar beliefs and philosophies so it’s like hearing yourself talk sometimes.  And when we disagree, it’s always done in an informed respectful way.  Which is so wonderful and sadly not always easy to find these days.  My Mom really gets a kick out of listening to us talk to each other, I don’t see it but she thinks it’s funny.

The bestest thing about this relationship is how non-judgmental, how supportive and how loving it is.  We truly pick up right where we left off with no recriminations if it’s been several weeks or someone forgot to call back or couldn’t talk earlier.  Friendships like that are absolutely golden.  Not all of my relationships have been this way and when I started to find friends who were, it really cast a harsh light on relationships that might have been more toxic than not.  I let those people move on without me and I’m ok with having done that.  Having fewer but really awesome people in your life is more important to me than having lots of not-so-great acquaintances cluttering up the space.

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Oh Brother!

Today is my brothers birthday.  He’s the one next to me in line so he’s the oldest male in the family.  We are 20 months apart in age but since I was Miss SmartyPants and had to skip a grade, we were 3 grades apart.  In high school the age difference was probably the broadest as he was a freshman when I was a oh-so-cool-I-can’t-talk-to-you senior.  I mean I had my driver’s license.  Come on, how much cooler could I get?  Oh I’d deign to talk to him when I was giving him a ride to school in the mornings.  Poor guy, my extensive ministrations every morning meant we were flying to school as fast as my 1972 Chevy Nova V-8 engine could carry us.  He inevitably was sprinting across the railroad tracks from the student parking lot in a vain attempt to not be late for his first hour of class.  Whatever, he was a freshman.  They’re supposed to suffer.

Strangely enough he followed me to college and enrolled in the engineering school at Marquette my senior year.  There is an infamous story about his interview with the Dean of the engineering school that I accompanied him on.  As I’d done for most of his life, I proceeded to answer all the questions the Dean asked my brother.  At which point the Dean turned to me and oh so elegantly led me down my path of self betrayal “So, do you want to attend Marquette?” he asked.  ” Oh no sir” I replied with no little bit of condescension “I’m already enrolled here”.  He smiled and replied “then I don’t need to talk to you do I?”  The smile on my brother’s face was priceless.  Someone had finally told his sister in no uncertain terms to shut up.  Yes Virginia, miracles do happen.

As we’ve aged, the age difference has dissipated.  In fact, sometimes I think he’s more mature than I am.  He created (along with his beautiful wife) the family I’d always wanted.  He’s been the rock I’ve turned to more times than I can remember, especially these past 20 months.  He’s the one I know will drop everything when I need help.  He calls to check up on me every week and he lets me do all the talking once again.  I can honestly say, he’s more than a brother to me, he’s one of my best friends.  I’m very, very lucky to have him in my life.  Thanks Bro, and Happy Birthday.

Lean on me

My iPod contains over 3500 songs on it.  I purchased my iPod used inheriting the music already on there.  I’ve also added quite a bit of music on my own. I usually listen to podcasts when I am running, multitasking as always.  Lately I’ve started listening to music.  And not to pre-planned playlists.  I’m playing the list alphabetically, never really knowing what I will hear next.  The juxtaposition the songs afford makes me laugh sometimes.  This morning it was Beyonce/JayZ followed by My Fair Lady.  And yes, I’m usually singing along louder than I realize, as evidenced by the looks I get.

Then the classic Bill Withers song, Lean On Me, with it’s opening organ chords came on.  I was immediately transported back to my teenage years, Summertime at the swimming pool, golden couple Crash and Susie and all the really cool kids hanging about.  The radio blaring much to the disdain of the golfers teeing off on the first tee just yards away.   I’m always amazed when music takes me back.  It was like it was yesterday.

This time though I listened, really listened to the lyrics.  And they blew me away.  I’ve gone through some very challenging times recently both personally and professionally.  There were moments it seemed as if I wouldn’t endure them.  Most times I felt really alone and scared.  Still do every once in a while. Especially the scared part. Hearing those lyrics made me realize I had some amazing friends and support that I’d been leaning on pretty heavily.   I’m not good at asking for help, fairly sure my tombstone will read “I’m fine”, even worse at admitting I need help and accepting it when offered.  Swallowing my pride isn’t on my list of skills.  This time around though, I’ve been leaning on whomever will let me.  I realize the lyrics could be referencing a friend, family member, God.  Who knows?  But the fourth time I’d replayed it this morning, the first verse really stuck with me –And if we are wise, we know that there’s always tomorrow. I’ll get to tomorrow, safe in the knowledge I’m not alone.

Oh and the song that followed?  It was also by Bill Withers and was called Use Me.  But that’s an entirely different type of post for another day!