All too often, I really don’t pay attention to the words I use when I speak to myself. The language I use isn’t the kindest or the most encouraging. I say things like “shame on me” and “I can’t”. The shame on me is pretty harsh and brings down judgment, regret and well, shame. I’ve been working on this as I used to say it with frequency, not even registering what I was telling myself. Shame on me. Wow. Slips in before you know it.
Then there’s the insidious “I can’t”. Boy oh boy does that one creep in faster than a speeding bullet. It’s not always verbalized but it’s there nonetheless. It’s there when I fall short of a goal and don’t keep trying to meet it. It’s there when I think it’s too cold/hot outside to work out. It’s there when I don’t get hired for a VO or On Camera gig and I rationalize with I can’t be the voice, or the image they have in their mind. It’s there more than I realize. And I’m not one to give up easily on things. Remember I’m the queen of “me do it”. But it still exists in my vernacular anyway. Saying “I can’t” is saying there’s absolutely no way to make something happen. And there’s always a way to work around a problem or figure out a solution.
I’m not asking for superhuman efforts or perfection of myself. What I’m asking for is a rethinking of the language I use to talk to myself. Instead of saying “I can’t” I’m going to try to start saying “I’m having difficulty”. It may be semantics but I think the way we talk to ourselves and to others has a far greater impact than I’ve realized in the past. And it’s not one big change that will make a big difference but the thousands of little changes I make in my everydayness that will help me achieve my goals.