One step away

Recently I had the opportunity to join some fellow actors in preparing a meal for some of the underserved in Chicago.  Now you should know that I grew up learning to cook for  large family, in fact I always make too much food when I do cook as it’s all I know!  But we were expecting anywhere from 50-150 people for this lunch so we had to be prepared for any contingency.  To say I was impressed with what the organizer planned and what we turned out of that kitchen is an understatement.  But we had enough food for everyone to get seconds if they wanted it and still had lots of yummy leftovers to send to a nearby shelter.  I kept telling the customers that if the food was good I made it, if they didn’t like it, that guy over there made it.  But it was indeed yummy as I sat down to share the meal with them.

Talking to strangers can be a dicey business.  You never know what you will encounter so I try to stay aware of the circumstances and keep my personal safety foremost in my mind.  But I felt very safe in this situation and wanted to get to know the clients a bit more.  Making eye contact, asking questions about their lives, laughing with them and sharing a bit about my own struggles were simple things to do.  It’s what I do all the time.  Sometimes I feel like I lapse into interviewing people I ask so many questions!  I’m working on that.  While I helped send them away with a full tummy and an orange for when they got hungry later, I realized they sent me away with a renewed gratitude for the support I receive and the gifts and skills I’ve been blessed with.  I was at a pretty low point not too long ago, both financially and personally, and felt like I didn’t have anywhere to turn.  It was an awful and desperate feeling but I was able to work my way out of it.  Hearing the stories of my fellow diners, I realized we are all pretty much one accident, crisis or fiasco away from joining them in their struggles.  Maybe I’ll be slower to put my guard up next time.

The Recipe of Me

Writing, especially my blog posts, isn’t something I do every day.  I find it takes me quite a while to get into the groove of the words and the message I want to convey.  I may have a tidbit of an idea germinating in my head but it takes some cogitating before I’m at a point where I can put it down on paper.  I use other things to help this process move along.  Finding a quiet place is one way.  Which usually involves turning off all outside stimulation, TV, radio and internet.  That last one is becoming the hardest to do.  I think I’m becoming addicted.  Again, off topic.  Reading past posts is one way I get in the right space in my head to write my thoughts down in a cohesive manner.

Which is where found myself the other day when I had some things I thought would make good posts.  I started reading older posts and in the process realized something about the way I think and find ideas.  I’m greatly influenced by what I’ve recently read, seen, heard or otherwise absorbed.  My posts are littered with references to movies, books, articles, TV shows, news reports, documentaries, conversations.  Which made me stop and think for a minute.  Was I incapable of thinking for myself or was it more a case of being open to new ideas and new ways of learning things?  I’m coming down most squarely on the side of the latter case.  Learning for me is like breathing and I’m constantly seeking out the why and how of things.  The inane facts I have in my RAM memory would put anyone to sleep, or wow your socks off.  I’ll choose the latter on that one as well.

In looking over all these influences and their ensuing posts, I realized that all of these tidbits and ideas make up who I am and what I think.  After all, I didn’t just take everything that crossed my path as gospel.  I weighed what I read and learned and made up my own mind on whether or not I agreed and accepted what I was being presented.  My sister says I need three pieces of facts before I’ll accept something that I feel skeptical about.  This used to make me defensive when she said that but I’ve come to embrace it with open arms.  It’s what makes me, well, me.  Finding my own way to my truth and adding a little bit here and a little bit there keeps me current, involved, active, evolving, seeking, challenged, growing.  And I can’t think of a better way to create this piéce de rèsistance!