Several weeks ago I wrote a post that I thought long and hard about publishing. It was about the difficulties I was unexpectedly having with a transition I’d made quite a while ago. The reason I hesitated to publish it was I laid myself pretty bare, exposing a vulnerable side I usually lock away in a deep dark secret place where no one can see it. I sat on the post for quite a while wondering what to do. That of itself is unusual because once I write something, I’m pretty sure about what I’ve written. I just proofread it, miss all the spelling, punctuation and syntax errors, hit publish and never think about it again. Until someone points out all the spelling, punctuation and syntax errors.
This time was different. I was really shaken by the whole insurance thing and the anxiety it had brought on me. I didn’t know if I wanted to let the world know how I’d been affected. But once I stopped making it all about me and how I felt (never any easy thing to do because deep in my recesses I think it should always be about me) I realized that I may not be the only one going through an experience like mine. There might be others out there who were feeling the same way I did and having the same anxieties.
So I hit publish. And waited nervously for my 4 readers to comment on what they saw. A wonderful thing happened, I got only encouragement and support for the post. It was very heartwarming to say the least. I’m glad I took a chance and shined (wrong tense I know…shined?, showned, sheened?) a little light on the quivering mass of fear that is my vulnerability. People can be pretty wonderful if you just let them.