Green Eyed Monster

It’s not something I’m very proud of.  But I’ll admit it.  I suffer from the green eyed monster, Jealousy.  I know I’m supposed to strive to be better and to be happy for those who win.  My time will come if I’m just patient and hard working.  There’s enough work for everyone and all boats are raised when 1 boat is raised.  Yeah, right, whatever.  Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not that evolved.  The thing is my failures or non bookings keep getting rubbed in my face time and again.  The commercials, the films, the narrations, the TV shows I audition for end up on the air and I usually see or hear them.  Sometimes over and over.  It’s salt in the proverbial wound.  Or a friend takes the leap of faith and heads out to LA to make it happen for themselves and I’m reminded of my progresslessness-if that’s a word!

I get that everyone is on an individual path and timeline and mine doesn’t match theirs.  At least I get it intellectually.  That doesn’t mean the petulant child in me still doesn’t throw a tantrum more often than I care to admit.  That I don’t wallow in self pity on my couch with the remote control in hand and a bag of whatever food drug I’m using to numb my pain.  It just stinks that this is taking so long and there aren’t any surefire ways to make it happen.  So forgive the melt-down.  I’m due.  My goal is to spread out the meltdowns a little further apart from the last one I had.  Now that’s progress!

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5 Responses to “Green Eyed Monster”

  1. John Taylor Says:

    I don’t have a green monster but “Little Johnny” the pouting, brooding, attention starved, under appreciated middle child rears his ugly head for the occasional inner tantrum. The cool thing is: in this business there’s always a shiny new opportunity just over the horizon. Then we have no choice but to suck it up and turn a whiny: “why me?” into a confident: “here’s why you should hire me”. No matter how thick our skin becomes, we all still want approval at a very basic level. Thanks for articulating what this Pam. Your honesty is one of the reasons we all love you.
    (There! How’s THAT for approval? Ya Happy Now? 🙂

    • Pam Tierney Says:

      I love my approval! Thanks Little Johnny! It seems no matter how evolved we are, we still become 7 years old when we don’t get what we want! Hugs to you!

  2. Liz de Nesnera - Bilingual English & French VO Says:

    Pass the chips, Pam! 🙂

    LUV YA! & YOU ROCK!!!!!

    Peace!

    Liz

  3. Liz de Nesnera - Bilingual English & French VO Says:

    Pass the chips, Pam!

    LUV YA! & YOU ROCK!

    Peace!

    Liz


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